Cinco and Ken's Way to Put Off Actually Writing

Monday, July 17, 2006

"What will we be seeing from you next?"

I've been asked this question quite a bit lately. It's a question every screenwriter without a movie currently in production dreads. The last movie Ken and I had in theaters was SANTA CLAUSE 2 in 2002. We've been working steadily, but to those outside of the movie biz it appears to be quite a dry spell. So I thought I'd list all of our current projects, their status, and my guess at their odds of being made. Welcome to Hollywood!

HORTON HEARS A WHO

Studio: Fox (CGI animation by Blue Sky)
Attachments: Jimmy Hayward & Steve Martino (Directors), voice talent being kept under wraps
Status: Animation begins next month.
Odds of being made: 1:1. This one's definitely happening. Unfortunately, it won't be released 'til Spring 2008. But it's going to be great, take my word for it. The Seuss movie we've all been wanting to see.

SPECIAL

Status: This is the first script Ken and I wrote together. About a guy pretending to be disabled in order to get an autographed football for his fiancee's son. It was optioned by MGM, but we got it back. Unfortunately, much of what we wrote was used in a film which came out last year called THE RINGER.
Odds of being made: 1:1. A German production company bought the script and made the movie last year (substituting basketball for football). It's being released in Germany in September of this year, and it looks like they really stuck to our script. Here's the link to the IMDB listing: Special
Odds of being made in America: 1,000,000:1

BAND OF GOLD

Status: This is the first script I ever sold, way back in 1994, about a doctor who's about to get married and accidentally sews up his fiancee's family heirloom wedding ring inside a patient. It was set up at Sony, with Mike Binder directing, but then fell apart. A company called Middle Fork owns it, but is now open to letting us do what we want with it. There's a bit of interest in it.
Odds of being made: 40:1.

WALTER THE FARTING DOG

Studio: New Line
Status: Out to directors. We did a pretty big rewrite on this...hopefully they'll get a director soon. Then it will go--it's not a cast-contigent movie, and the studio is really behind it. It's based on the best-selling book about a dog that farts. A lot.
Odds of being made: 3:1.

PLANET TERRY

Studio: New Line
Attached: Brian Levant (Director)
Status: Pretty much dead--they got a lot of passes from actors, which took the wind out of the project's sails. It's based on a comic book proposal about a family man who finds out he's actually an alien here on Earth as part of the Intergalactic Witness Protection Program.
Odds of being made: 25:1.

CAR WARS

Studio: Warner Bros.
Attached: Dustin Hoffman, Dax Shepard (actors)
Status: We believe it's dead, but we're out of the loop. It's about a Mercedes dealer who has a used car dealer who worships him open up a lot across the street. The used car guy destroys the Mercedes dealer's life. We did a big rewrite on it, some of our best work. Many directors were close to signing on, including Shawn Levy and Chris Columbus. But if it gets made now it probably won't look much like our script.
Odds of being made: 30:1.

DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS

Studio: Dreamworks
Attached: Sasha Baron Cohen (actor)
Status: Most likely dead. This was an adaptation of a French movie, Le Diner de Cons. I think this is one of the best scripts we've written. The execs at Dreamworks didn't agree, and hired a Simpsons writer, Jon Vitti, to rewrite it. Haven't heard anything about it since.
Odds of being made: 35:1.

LET IT RAIN

Studio: Fox
Status: This is a live-action singing animals movie (Babe meets Moulin Rouge) which we sold to Disney as a pitch several years ago. One of our favorite projects of all time. Fox acquired it from Disney in turnaround, and they say they want to make it, but things are moving slowly...we'll see.
Odds of being made: 5:1.

12TH DAY OF CHRISTMAS

Studio: Universal
Status: We did a big rewrite on the original draft by Thomas Lennon & Ben Garant. It's a Christmas movie about how Santa and the reindeer came to be. We were really put through the wringer on this one, so it's hard to be enthusiastic about it. But it may actually have a chance of getting made as a CGI movie.
Odds of being made: 30:1.


And there you have it. Only time will tell if some (or any) of these projects defy the odds and actually get made. We're not holding our breath. See you at the movies!

3 Comments:

  • Brings me back, Cinc'. You would always bring whatever you had written home at Christmas and I would read them New Year's Day while the Bowl games played on TV. My best memory was "Film Camp," New Year's Day, 1994, laughing my head off. Now that is a movie you should do.

    By Blogger texasyank, at 7:46 AM  

  • Any chance you know could tell me how I could purchase a copy of your screenplay for "Horton Hears a Who"? I loved it, and wanted to see how you set up all the action.
    Also, can you tell me what the creature is that says, "On my world all the people are ponies. And they eat rainbows and poop butterflies."

    Thanks,
    Aleigh

    By Blogger Aleigh, at 9:59 AM  

  • Why were you guys not credited on "Dinner with Schmucks"?

    By Blogger Nickname unavailable, at 12:34 PM  

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